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Peer responses. 

Peer #1 Cle

Growing up we didn’t have a lot of money, yet my parents always put my sister and I first in all things, putting themselves last most of the time. My mom stayed home to raise us, often running a daycare or cleaning a friend’s house to make extra money; I really thought that all people had a mom that was always there. My dad worked hard for us, but he experienced extreme trauma as a child, which left him with many demons he had to navigate on his own. When he was a child, his father was electrocuted while working for the local electricity company, and then my grandma married a terribly abusive man, who was quite terrible to my dad and uncle. Having never received counseling to work through the traumas he experienced, he used a lot of drugs and alcohol to cope, often leaving him not at home, or completely closed off from my sister and I. He really didn’t know how to be a parent, he was never mean, just silent and removed from our childhood. Because of this my mom was basically a single parent when it came to parenting. Life was stressful, but they both tried their best to hide it from us.

My dad grew up Catholic, but only attended church on Christmas Eve as an adult. My mom found Jesus as a child, and would take us to church most Sundays, until we got older and then she stopped going (she still very much loves Jesus, just not the political piece of church). People can be quite judgemental to “single” moms at church, and I think this had a big impact on her. “Adolescents raised by single parents may experience stress (or less support) from attending religious services than adolescents raised by married parents, perhaps due to a lack of acceptance within these communities or experiencing feelings of sacred loss by being exposed to messages about the importance of two-parent families.” (Sullivan, 2011; Warner, Mahoney, & Krumrei, 2009).

My childhood experiences definitely impacted my life and the type of adult I have become. My mother instilled in me my love for Jesus and my passion to be kind to all people. She also taught me to stand up for what is right, even if no one else is. My dad taught me to work hard and that being silent is ok, to appreciate the quiet moments. I definitely did not appreciate my family as I was growing up. I was painfully shy, angry at my dad, and didn’t understand his addiction/former abuse, and extremely angry with my mom for staying married to him, I couldn’t understand the deep love she had for him. Unfortunately, because of this I would starve myself knowing that food was the only thing that I could control in my life. The only thing I knew was that I didn’t want people to know about my dad’s drug use, I was embarrassed and in constant stress. I didn’t know how to process everything that was going on in my world, and was too ashamed to ask for help.

As a teacher, I see so much of my childhood traumas in other kids. Kids who use food as a coping mechanism or a punishment to themselves. I see kids whose parents/siblings struggle with drug/alcohol addiction and they think it is “normal.” I am thankful for all of the events that happened because they shaped me into the person I am now. I have compassion and understanding for people because of my experiences. I am also extremely grateful that both of my parents (who are still married, and my dad is clean!) always taught me to love and not judge other people – you never know the burden someone might be caring alone.

References

Petts, R. J. (2014). Family, religious attendance, and trajectories of psychological well-being among youth. Journal of Family Psychology, 28(6), 759–768. https://doi-org.lopes.idm.oclc.org/10.1037/a003689…

Peer #2 liz

I lived with my Mom, Dad, brother, and sister. I am the baby of the family. My Mom was a stay at home Mom and my Dad worked outside the home. We didn’t grow up with a lot of money, but I didn’t realize it. I had everything I needed. My childhood was filled with love. My Dad hurt his back and was unable to work for some time, but after he healed he immediately worked. I watched my Dad work through pain everyday of his life. He built our furniture, and he always was super affectionate to my Mom, calling her “beautiful”. My Mom sewed all our clothes, made our food from scratch and we didn’t have soda in the house until I was 13. She has always been health conscience.

My brother was 2 years older than me and my sister was 5 years older than me. I grew up getting along with my siblings. Of course, we fought like regular kids but we loved each other. Faith was a big part of our lives. We went to church when we younger, off and on. My mother always taught me to say my prayers and read my scriptures.

The culture of my family was to be very open about everything. We discussed sex, drugs, relationships, education, and friendships. My parents always let me be open and honest about everything without fear of judgment. Spending time with my Dad meant we were working painting dog houses and stacking wood. He taught me how to rely on myself and get through tough things. My Mom taught me the value of listening and loving. They both taught me forgiveness and always being there for their family. Families are enduring over people’s lifetimes (Repetti & Saxbe, 2019).

I believe that is why I have such a strong empathic personality. I feel very deeply. My mental and emotional health has always been strong. I learned coping skills to deal with the sexual abuse as a child, I am able to be confident and advocate for myself, and I’m not scared to try new things. “Family stressors and the course of health and illness during adulthood. Although some of the areas of inquiry we examined are more developed than others” (Repetti & Saxbe, 2019 p 130). I do have many health issues that I attribute to my sexual abuse and anxiety that occurred after my childhood, but the anxiety didn’t set in until puberty hit. Because of this I am good listener because I was always listened to and I understand the value of something hearing your thoughts even when they don’t agree with you.  I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder, agoriphobia, and panic disorder when I was 18.  It wasn’t a “normal” thing to talk about mental health issues in the late 90’s.  I felt like I was crazy and refused to take any medications.  I did learn coping strategies, but as I got married had my daughter, got divorced, and lost my home… I realized I needed medication.  I am no longer ashamed that I need medications and have been to many counselors.  My faith has helped me the most in overcoming my anxieties.  My Mom and Dad have always helped me deal with it too. 

My love languages are words of affirmation and quality time. Those needs were met and I believe that I have been able to become the best version of myself and continue to improve each day. I had an amazing childhood. I live next door to my parents and enjoy waving at my parents as I drive by as they sit on their porch.

References:

Repetti, R., & Saxbe, D. (2019). APA Handbook of Contemporary Family Psychology: Applications and Broad Impact of Family Psychology. Https://Web-b-Ebscohost-Com.Lopes.Idm.Oclc.Org/Eho…, 2, 121–136

Peer #3 Rb

Hi everyone,

I am Hispanic and I grew up in a very Hispanic cultured home. Both of my parents were born in different parts of Mexico. My father passed away at 70 and was born in 1944. No matter what or how you said it to this man, he was set in his ways and his culture. My parents had us attend church frequently and over time we no longer attended church services but we continued to be reminded about the importance of God and prayer. Most Hispanics believe that God is an active force in everyday life (CDC, 2008). Most Latinos pray every day, most have a religious object in their home, and most attend a religious service at least once a month (CDC, 2008). Faith and church are often central to family and community life; this is especially apparent in the understanding of illnesses and healing (CDC, 2008). Familismo is the value of family over individual or community needs and the expression of strong loyalty, reciprocity, and solidarity among family members (Smith, 2000). Petts (2014) informs by attending religious services, youth are also exposed to a set of teachings that may help to provide perspective in life and better help youth to understand and cope with any stresses or difficulties they face in adolescence.

Hispanic culture has separate beliefs and seeks certain care or rituals before seeking medical attention. In my family this was present growing up, now that I work in the field of mental health beliefs have changed in my mother and immediate family. Growing up my father was a traditional Hispanic and he did not believe mental health was a real condition. My father had a stroke at the age of 60 and was completely paralyzed on his right side. He was “the man of the house” his whole life and after this he could no longer work or provide for his family. This and the stroke paralyzing his right side of his brain my father developed bipolar disorder and depression. My father did not believe and majority of the time he was not medication compliant. Overtime behaviors became worst, and my parents separated. Growing up I had no idea, and I was an ignorant teenager. I wish I would have known what I know now and treated my father differently and even more important, helped him get the care he needs.

Both my mother and father continued to do their best in providing care and support to both my siblings and myself. They continued to co-parent and the relationship was better with them separated. Petts (2014) states, parent–child relationship quality may also influence trajectories of psychological well-being among youth. In general, authoritative parenting—being warm, supportive, and engaged with children—is associated with fewer psychological problems. My mother made sure we continued to feel this love and support as a family regardless of the health condition of my father and impact in the family. Parents are an important source of social support for their children; expressing affection toward children and being engaged in children’s lives help children to feel more secure and reduce the risk of experiencing emotional or behavioral problems (Petts, 2014).

• (2008).Cultural Insights. Communicating with Hispanics/Latinos. https://www.cdc.gov/healthcommunication/pdf/audience/audienceinsight_culturalinsights.pdf
• Petts, R. J. (2014). Family, religious attendance, and trajectories of psychological well-being among youth. Journal of Family Psychology, 28(6), 759–768. https://doi-org.lopes.idm.oclc.org/10.1037/a0036892
• Smith, A. (2000). Ethnomed: Mexican cultural profile. Available at http://ethnomed.org/ethnomed/cultures/mexican/mexican_cp.html