Writing Homework Help

Assignment #6 (found at end of instructions)
Negative News Goals
 To rebuild the bridge with a disgruntled customer
 To maintain a positive relation with the customer
 To make the rejection clear, while not beating the receiver over the head with it
 To avoid future correspondence if possible.
 To provide a professional looking document that’s properly formatted (page 207)
 To create an economical, conversational, visually accessible, and effective
document
As previously noted in the adjustment letter assignment, a business representative will
decide whether to grant or reject a customer claim. While in the case of the Powerbar
case we granted the customer’s request, there are situations where we just can’t give the
reader what they are asking for. Most likely the customer’s request is just way out of
bounds. So let’s look at the same claim letter from the previous case:
Sample Claim Letter
Hello:
The computer I order on December 9, 2018 and which was delivered on January 7th
arrived broken. The purchase number is 573902-5. I have attached some pictures to
illustrate the damage. The policy statement included in your brochure indicates that
items being returned must be sent in their original packaging. However, as you can
see from the pictures, the box is destroyed. I was forced, consequently, to place it in a
new box and have sent it back with the original receipt. Please either send me a new
computer like the one I ordered by the end of January or back-charge my account for
the original purchase price prior to that date.
Call me at 555-555-5555 with any questions or email me at _________
Best regards,
Rob Marini
Now let’s say that the customer’s claim was not grantable. For instance, he signed for the
package when it was delivered. On your website where he purchased the computer, it
states that products already signed for are not returnable. Usually such a policy would be
designed to keep the costs of your products affordable for all your customers and to
protect you from false damage claims. Since he signed for it, you suspect he broke the
computer, possibly dropping it after receipt. We will need to reject him but want to do it
Commented [RJM1]: Notice the attention to dates
and other details that the reader may need to process the
request. If you leave these out, it will slow down the process
and may lead to you having to write another letter.
Commented [RJM2]: Knowing the reader will be
reluctant to grant my request if I didn’t strictly follow their
policy, I needed to explain why I didn’t and include the
photos.
Commented [RJM3]: Don’t under estimate the power
of “please.” When you use a polite but persuasive tone, the
reader is less likely to react negatively and screw you around.
Commented [RJM4]: End dates help motivate action.
The reader knows now that they must act one way or another
before that date or face getting a call and wasting more of
their time.

Negative News 2 | P a g e
in such a way that he won’t hold it against us. Okay, that’s where the four part strategy
for breaking bad news comes in.
Sample Rejection Letter
Dear Mr. Marini:
I realize that not having your computer must be a real hassle, so I’d like to work with
you to resolve the situation as quickly as possible. I immediately sent the computer to
the technicians who discovered the problem was due to a detached wire at the charging
port.
While the originally packaging isn’t an obstacle to replacement, we do try to keep our
costs low for all our customers. As noted on the website, packages signed for by
customers are no longer eligible for returns and replacements. The technicians,
however, did say it could be repaired and returned to you for just the cost of parts—20
dollars. This is a good deal considering most repair shops will hit you with a 100
dollar service fee and shipping costs.
If you would like to take advantage of this, send us a check by the end of the month
and we’ll get that fixed and shipped back to you in five business days. If we don’t hear
from you by then, we’ll ship it back to you as is. I hope you’ll this solution will work
for you!
Best,

Joe Bullinski
The idea is to make the reader feel like he was treated fairly, offer him some alternative if
possible, and keep him using your service. Let’s look at the assignment:
Assignment #6 Negative News Assignment
Standby Time Case
Assume you are the Marketing Manager for Earthworm Equipment Company,
manufacturers of heavy duty construction equipment. When you were at lunch last
Friday, one of your customers, Jim Brennen, spotted you in the restaurant and asked a
favor. Specifically, he would like his company, Apex Construction, to be able to use
your robotic assembler system when theirs is down (let’s call this “standby time”). You
don’t want to give Apex this “standby” time. But Jim knows that you made such an
arrangement when you installed your system with two of your suppliers (that’s how he
found out–Apex also buys from those suppliers).
Commented [RJM5]: Step 1: Open indirectly with
something positive while being careful not to give away the
rejection.
Commented [RJM6]: Step 2: Provide specific
reasons for the request
Commented [RJM7]: If the rejection is implicit in the
reasons, don’t state it. Here it’s clear from the reasons that he
can’t get a free replacement computer. Consequently, you’d
just move on to the alternative.
Commented [RJM8]: In the closing, explain exactly
what he will need to do if he wants or doesn’t want the
alternative. You don’t want to leave any unanswered
questions because it will lead to further communications,
something that wastes both of your time.

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Apex is a good customer so you’re very reluctant to turn them down. And you’re afraid
Apex will find it hard to understand your refusal since they know about the others who do
have standby time. Further, standby time is rarely used (but when it is needed it is
important to have it).
You learn from your Assembly Systems Manager, Jane Blair, that your robotic assembler
is now scheduled for a three-shift, six day week, and she would find it very difficult to
commit any more time for use by others. You know you would be overextending your
capacity if you entered into any additional agreements.
Write to Jim and say “No”:
Inside Address
James Brennen, Vice President
Apex Construction Company
501 North 76th St.
Milwaukee, WI 53237
Four Point Strategy for Breaking Bad News
1. Letter Opening—the Buffer (page 278-280): Open the letter with at least a
three-line buffer that includes a couple of the following options as shown on page
280:
 Appreciation
 Compliment
 Mutual agreement
 Empathy
 Best news
 Wiliness to help him out
2. Reasons for Rejection (page 280-281): When you state the reasons:
 Do not give away rejection—We don’t want the reader to know we aren’t
granting their request until we have sold them on our reasons. If we open
immediately with the bad news, there’s a good chance they won’t read on
and will just be angry with our decision. That often leads to them calling
and wasting our time.
 Be specific—Saying the boss says no or it’s company policy doesn’t
answer the reader’s questions. If it is company policy, explain what is the
policy, how it benefits the customers, and why your findings rule out the
adjustment. Your goal is to get the reader to willingly accept the bad news,
which they won’t do if they don’t understand exactly why they were
rejected.
Commented [RJM9]: Remember not to give away the
rejection or imply that you will be granting it.

Negative News 4 | P a g e
 Don’t blame others in the organization—saying the boss says no or
blaming others in the company for the rejection might make you look good,
but it will only encourage the reader to press their case further.
3. Rejection (page 281-282): When you state the rejection after the reasons, use the
following strategies:
 Embedded emplacement—Don’t begin new paragraphs with the bad
news. A reader often scans documents before reading, and their eyes
naturally fall on opening lines. If they see a negative word like
unfortunately, they will go straight to it and not read your buffer or reasons.
 Subordination—Place the bad news in a subordinate clause rather than in
the independent. Independent clauses get the most emphasis in a sentence.
We don’t want the bad news to be emphasized.
 The passive voice–placing the bad news in a passive voice sentence
deemphasizes the writer’s role in braking the bad news. So instead of
writing, “We can’t grant your request,” you’d write, “Although your
request can’t be granted, we can fix …” You see how the reader will
transition from the bad news straight into the alternative without pausing–
that’s the ideal way to break bad news. It gives them no pause to dwell on
it and pushes the reader right into the good news.
4. Alternative (page 282): When transitioning from the bad news into the
alternative, try to do the following:
 Avoid dwelling too long on the rejection—If possible, transition
immediately into an alternative. Put the alternative in the independent
clause and the rejection in the subordinate so they both appear in the same
sentence.
5. Closing (page 282): Make certain the closing of the letter does the following:
 Gives any additional instructions for pursing the alternative—If one
exists, explain what they need to do to pursue it. Explain how you want
them to submit the payment. Consider an end date to motivate action.
 Gives any instructions for not pursuing the alternative—Don’t assume
they will want it. In this case, the reader might not have the money to get it
fixed, so then what should he do? Consider tying in the payment end date
so you can say if you don’t receive payment by then, you’ll assume they
don’t want the alternative and will send back the clarinet.
 Looks forward to future business—The ending should read like the
problem has been resolved. Don’t say you’re sorry or refer back to the
original problem.
 Doesn’t thank receiver–While in an adjustment, we might thank the
reader for helping us fix a problem, we don’t thank the reader for making
an irrational request.

Negative News 5 | P a g e
 Doesn’t invite feedback: One of the goals of negative news letters is to
end the communication. Nothing the reader has to say will change the
outcome, so you don’t want to open a door for them to bother you further.
If you have provided the necessary info for pursuing the alternative, there
should be no further need for communication.
Letter Format
Make certain your letter follows all the formatting conventions as illustrated on page 207.
You can omit a subject line in these cases, as you don’t want to reveal the purpose of the

document—the rejection—before it appears.