Humanities Homework Help

Background

In this module we’ve covered a lot of thinking about the history and current state of marriage in the western world (and especially the US). We’ve learned that no matter what romantic, rom-com film conceptions we have of relationships, all romantic-affectionate relationships bring challenges. The key is how we address those challenges.

Scenario

Your friends Akiko and Javed met when they were seniors at USF. They dated during senior year and then moved into together when Akiko working toward her MD and Javed started to earn his graduate degree in engineering. Now they’ve been together three years, and though they talk of marriage, they and their families agree that it would be best to wait until they are both finished with the graduate degrees and ready to take on jobs, maybe buy a home, and really “start a family.” For now they rent a townhouse in a nice community filled with other medical and engineering students. It’s very convenient as all of the outdoor work (like the yard and such) are taken care of by the landlord. As with all relationships, Akiko and Javed often disagree, usually about daily life and chores. Akiko is growing resentful that she seems to be the only one who ever loads and unloads the dishwasher as Javed will often just reach in and grab a clean plate and fork rather than unloading the dishwasher. She also notices that Javed never does the laundry except when she asks and asks and even then he always seems to mess the laundry up, even ruining some of her delicates (like a silk shirt and some of her bras and underwear). Javed feels like Akiko is already “acting married” and starting to be too bossy. Javed handles their finances, setting up their online payment for bills and even managing from their tight budget to put away money savings so that they will have extra funds for a down payment on a house or a car when they finish their degrees. Javed and Akiko sometimes argue about cooking and eating out. Akiko believes that with their busy school schedules it is easier to order delivery or takeaway, but Javed feels like they waste too much money this way and even shows Akiko how much they spend per week on eating out. They are also having some sexual issues as Javed feels like Akiko is never “in the mood,” while Akiko feels that Javed “just wants sex” and doesn’t like to cuddle or be intimate anymore. While these issues haven’t caused any major arguments, both Akiko and Javed know that they want to resolve them and work on them now, rather than waiting until their differences are too vast and divisive because they really do love each other. Akiko and Javed remember that you told them you were taking a class and had learned a little bit about marriage and relationships. They invite to dinner and both ask, “Hey, we don’t argue like crazy or need a therapist but we just wanted to know if you had some tips that might help us!”

Instructions

Use our course materials (and cite them in your writing) to provide Akiko and Javed three tips to strengthen their relationship and to help them resolve some of the issues they are having. Remember, this is a class where equity matters so be sure that your tips recognize that both Akiko and Javed hold some blame and hold some agency for change. Put each of the three tips in a separate paragraph so that your submission is organized. For each of the three tips, include the following:

• (a) The tip or piece of advice
• (b) Why the tip or piece of advice is applicable to Javed and Akiko — that is, exactly what issue of theirs it will address and how
• (c) How the tip or piece of advice addresses historic/current issues in marriage, especially in relation to sex and gender.

Sample Submission

Here is an example of a student submission featuring one tip. (Please note that this tip is from a different factual scenario and different readings in a previous semester.)

(a) A key tip for James and Aneelah to consider is setting a specific child care schedule that takes into account their individual work schedules and the children’s school schedules rather than the sort of implicit agreement they think they have (“Parents and Children at the Crossroads” reading, p. 7). (b) This tip will help them avoid the the last-minute “I thought you were picking up the kids from school” and “You know I always work later on Thursdays” type arguments they keep having. By having a set schedule rather than making assumptions, they can literally just look at the schedule (even keep it on their phone calendars) to know which days/times are their responsibility. Making assumptions is a key irritant in many marriages and relationships and the source of many arguments (“The Factors of Marriage,” paragraph 4). This means that they won’t waste time arguing, they won’t be so angry when they are with their kids, and they may even find that they are moving loving and intimate with each other. (c) We’ve learned in earlier modules that it is often women who bear the brunt of childcare, often doing a second shift of work at home after their regular work shift (Hochschild reading, Module 3). Addressing the child care schedule will not only help strengthen their relationship but will address the historic inequality in which women/mothers have been responsible for nearly all childcare.

Background

In this module we’ve covered a lot of thinking about the history and current state of marriage in the western world (and especially the US). We’ve learned that no matter what romantic, rom-com film conceptions we have of relationships, all romantic-affectionate relationships bring challenges. The key is how we address those challenges.

Scenario

Your friends Akiko and Javed met when they were seniors at USF. They dated during senior year and then moved into together when Akiko working toward her MD and Javed started to earn his graduate degree in engineering. Now they’ve been together three years, and though they talk of marriage, they and their families agree that it would be best to wait until they are both finished with the graduate degrees and ready to take on jobs, maybe buy a home, and really “start a family.” For now they rent a townhouse in a nice community filled with other medical and engineering students. It’s very convenient as all of the outdoor work (like the yard and such) are taken care of by the landlord. As with all relationships, Akiko and Javed often disagree, usually about daily life and chores. Akiko is growing resentful that she seems to be the only one who ever loads and unloads the dishwasher as Javed will often just reach in and grab a clean plate and fork rather than unloading the dishwasher. She also notices that Javed never does the laundry except when she asks and asks and even then he always seems to mess the laundry up, even ruining some of her delicates (like a silk shirt and some of her bras and underwear). Javed feels like Akiko is already “acting married” and starting to be too bossy. Javed handles their finances, setting up their online payment for bills and even managing from their tight budget to put away money savings so that they will have extra funds for a down payment on a house or a car when they finish their degrees. Javed and Akiko sometimes argue about cooking and eating out. Akiko believes that with their busy school schedules it is easier to order delivery or takeaway, but Javed feels like they waste too much money this way and even shows Akiko how much they spend per week on eating out. They are also having some sexual issues as Javed feels like Akiko is never “in the mood,” while Akiko feels that Javed “just wants sex” and doesn’t like to cuddle or be intimate anymore. While these issues haven’t caused any major arguments, both Akiko and Javed know that they want to resolve them and work on them now, rather than waiting until their differences are too vast and divisive because they really do love each other. Akiko and Javed remember that you told them you were taking a class and had learned a little bit about marriage and relationships. They invite to dinner and both ask, “Hey, we don’t argue like crazy or need a therapist but we just wanted to know if you had some tips that might help us!”

Instructions

Use our course materials (and cite them in your writing) to provide Akiko and Javed three tips to strengthen their relationship and to help them resolve some of the issues they are having. Remember, this is a class where equity matters so be sure that your tips recognize that both Akiko and Javed hold some blame and hold some agency for change. Put each of the three tips in a separate paragraph so that your submission is organized. For each of the three tips, include the following:

• (a) The tip or piece of advice
• (b) Why the tip or piece of advice is applicable to Javed and Akiko — that is, exactly what issue of theirs it will address and how
• (c) How the tip or piece of advice addresses historic/current issues in marriage, especially in relation to sex and gender.

Sample Submission

Here is an example of a student submission featuring one tip. (Please note that this tip is from a different factual scenario and different readings in a previous semester.)

(a) A key tip for James and Aneelah to consider is setting a specific child care schedule that takes into account their individual work schedules and the children’s school schedules rather than the sort of implicit agreement they think they have (“Parents and Children at the Crossroads” reading, p. 7). (b) This tip will help them avoid the the last-minute “I thought you were picking up the kids from school” and “You know I always work later on Thursdays” type arguments they keep having. By having a set schedule rather than making assumptions, they can literally just look at the schedule (even keep it on their phone calendars) to know which days/times are their responsibility. Making assumptions is a key irritant in many marriages and relationships and the source of many arguments (“The Factors of Marriage,” paragraph 4). This means that they won’t waste time arguing, they won’t be so angry when they are with their kids, and they may even find that they are moving loving and intimate with each other. (c) We’ve learned in earlier modules that it is often women who bear the brunt of childcare, often doing a second shift of work at home after their regular work shift (Hochschild reading, Module 3). Addressing the child care schedule will not only help strengthen their relationship but will address the historic inequality in which women/mothers have been responsible for nearly all childcare.